dirty medical jokes

They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in . Hey Former Cult Member Pandas, What Made You Figure Out You Were In A Cult? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Why wouldnt you bring your fingers? asks the doctor.I couldnt pick them up!. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. It only costs $10." Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious! Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. I think I should shoot it again, but with a scoped rifle next time. Here's your $1000 back." Catscan: Searching for kitty Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood pressure!. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Causing a person or environment to become unclean. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. ", 2. 6 The Diagnosis. Excuse me, are you osteoporosis? ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. So it's no surprise that this translates into some great humor in the professional field. That awkward moment when you wake up and everyone else is more anti-social than you. So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Only one, but the nurse has to tell the doctor which end to screw in first. You've got your taste back. Did you hear about the patient that lost his whole left side?No worries, I hear hes all right now! "Doctor: "The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe. To all the blondes out there, we get it. 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. Proof that punctuation saves lives. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either.When the man returned again, the doctor told him, Go home. Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. ''I see the problem. Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? 2. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: ", Patient: Please help me! I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?, Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. One day, a man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally saws off all ten of his fingers. Have you seen all jokes? "My cat is very fat," she says. If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. Your arm is broke! There you have it. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? Score: 1. No, thats not an epi-pen in my pants. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!Doctor: When did that happen?Patient: When did what happen?. A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, Well? Dissolvable relationships. The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. Any idea what it could be?. Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. Smooth or rough? Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. ", 8. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks." They're usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnt stop breaking wind?A kite. Cartoon When Doctors Take Things Too Literally Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com "i was talking to your girlfriend.". Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. 11. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. Antibody - One who hates his body . Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. "The doctor calmly suggests, "I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. Am I a non-competitive inhibitor? Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? i have an imaginary girlfriend.. Grand Est covers 57,433 square kilometres (22,175 sq mi) of land and is the sixth-largest of the regions of France. A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits.All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. ", Doctor: Youre as healthy as a horse!Jimmy: Thats great!Doctor: A horse with kidney stones.. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken? Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Add it the comments, we would love to read it! SEO List Curator for Bored Panda. Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. How did the doctor cure the invisible man?He took him to the ICU. 1. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. Whats the best place to hide from a doctor? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Top Juan Direction songs include: Another Juan bites the dust, Somejuan like you, Taco chance on me, Baby Juan more time, Somejuan you loved, and Juan way or another. A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. I havent heard from him since.". See his answers: 1. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. The doctor says, "you've broken your finger". You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. 85. One snatches your watch. Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. Error occurred when generating embed. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?He kept feeling jumpy. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head. Why did the library book go to the doctor?It needed to be checked out. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". Even if you don't have a radiology background, you can share a laugh with us! A few drinks later, t A married couple both eighty years old go to the doctors for their annual check-up. I'm going to have to put your cat down. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat. because i put on the wrong sock this morning. brutalanglosaxon 2. COPY. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, You are back early, whats wrong? This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. 2. Calculated By queensland university of technology. Weve got the results back from your tests, and weve found you have an extremely nasty virus that is extremely contagious!Oh my gosh, cries the man. The stranger says, "How about 10?" "So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, "Do I have to take them every day?". Why did the banana go to the doctor?He wasnt peeling well. #2. You wouldnt know if you had that. Put your Christmas gifts on sleigh-away. "Doc! You sent me a bill for $1,000. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night! Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. 1. 20+ Medical Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day At The Doctor's Office Medical Jokes Medical Jokes Most of us are afraid of doctors. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. Please enter your email to complete registration. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. So, if you want to tell some hilarious medical puns or even teach medical puns to your kids check out this article. "Man: "And? The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. a licensed medical practitioner; "I felt so bad I went to see my doctor". 74 apple jokes, puns and one liners! 1. These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. What are you going to do, Doctor?Well, were going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.Will that cure me? asked the man hopefully.The doctor replied, No but its the only food we can get under the door., "When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. What's the good news? What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." Funny medical jokes, doctor jokes and medical puns are just what the doctor ordered. What should I do?Take these pills, says the doctor. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog., Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?, Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.. That will be $500." What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?Shadys back. Ooops! A woman goes into labor with her child. A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it.. Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school. What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. 10 Doctor Makes a Pig's Ear of Operation. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? You can read more about it and change your preferences, "Mom? He said "It's just a pigment . Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. upvote downvote report. G.I. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. ", "I went to the doctors with hearing problems. The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. 1. "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. Can you check it out please?" Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. You sent me a bill for $1,000. "The doctor asked, "What was it like? Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important!Good coffee and good music make everything better. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest". My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. Coronavirus jokes are rapidly becoming a pun-demic. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. "If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons." ", What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?Are you seeing any change in me?. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. "Patient: "What's the good news? So we started telling people that he'd been killed by a colon parasite. The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens." The stranger says, "How about 20?" Shingles, he responded. Because you're making me drool. "Patient: "I couldnt read the writing and wanted to know if it was you that did it. Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. Irish Jokes the doctor. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.This is your doctor. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night!". A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. Dirty Limericks are the best kind of limericks and the most popular! you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 80 short jokes and one liners! "I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Why did the sperm cross the road? David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Quarrelling, Insulting Language And Dirty Jokes. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. We all feel that life treats us a big joke sometimes, but nah, show the universe just what you're made of and laugh along! ", A man takes his wife to get tested.Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.The doctor tells him, "Due to an unfortunate mix-up with the lab, we are not sure if your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer"The man, clearly frustrated, asks, "Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information? This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong. 5 New Will to Live. Medical Dirty Jokes. "He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart. Do you remember this song? A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan. They then bump it up to 20%. A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. Dr. Cohen doesnt tell me a word., A patient went to their optometrist and said, Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain in my eye. Because you could ride my lightning. A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body. * "Jurassic Pig". Why does miss piggy douche with honey? Patient: "Doctor, Im hearing a ringing sound?". A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Yeah, I thought so too. The next week the old lady returns. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. !Nurse: B positive.Doctor: Im trying, but hes lost a lot of blood., "Knock, knock. The doctor . Joke #8: "Differences Between Graduate Nurse and Experienced Nurses". "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." POST. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy." "OK," said the man. "How did you find that doctor was fake? No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. The best Mexican characters in Star Wars were Juan Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi. 4. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. ", What did the balloon say to the doctor?I feel light-headed.. 5. Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says: That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. 4. Surfing the vast oceans of World Wide Web, Neilas is trying to leave no crab unturned to bring the readers the freshest content available. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, 'You Are Not Alone': I Made Relatable Illustrations Of A Middle-Aged Panda Experiencing Daily Struggles (16 New Pics). Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?He kept seeing spots. "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? They were put in seperate examination rooms. What The Bible Says About Lustful And Nasty Thoughts. 2. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more? Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Do you have more jokes for your own? A: He made a spectacle of himself Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? COPY JOKE. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. 3. "Doctor: "120. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. Christmas has me feeling Santa-mental. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb? Why is a doctor always calm?They have a lot of patients. Will you turn me on? Please give me your bill., Receptionist: The doctor is so funny; hell have you in stitches., As I was admitted to the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist and said, Im going to give you a bracelet.. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. When the last young nurse said she worked as a nurse at an HMO, St Peter said, "You can go to heaven too." Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I am losing my memory!, Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im going to die in 59 seconds!, The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?. ""3:30 who? I'm Jim. A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you cant read it. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. But I stand corrected. Whats the difference between bird flu and swine flu?For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital""Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that. That will be $500." They both have manholes. The serious types of doctors are the ones who emanate serious aura. ""Whos there?""3:30. Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Doctor: Mr. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. I had no words. ", Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?Yes, of course.Great! Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? What can I do?Doctor: Use a pencil until I come see him.. Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. Please check link and try again. dirty. It's important to have a good vocabulary. If you'd like to enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes, be. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. An apple keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough. Weeks? That's not how it works! 10 Humerus Jokes for Allied Health Students. Here are our favorite picks: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point. 7 points. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? "He died as he. But wait, there's myrrh. Read more Heart Transplant for a Prostitute Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1 A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra. "Doctor: "Okay, but why are you telling me about this? After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. My son swallowed a razor-blade., Doctor: Quick, hes losing a lot of blood. Why did the witch go to the doctor?She had a dizzy spell. ", 10. A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island. Triple Bypass: Better than a quarterback sneak Want to have more fun? A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? No reason to panic. A proctologist had been in practice for 20 years and had settled into a very comfortable life with his future very secure. What happened?Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company., Are you an organ donor?No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong.I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes, the man complains.Have you ever seen a doctor? she asks.No, just spots maam., One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. Nurse: Doctor, theres a patient on line one who says hes invisible.Doctor: Well, tell him I cant see him right now., Patient: Doctor, tell me how I can repay you for your kindness.Doctor: You can pay by cash, check, or money order., "I told the doctor I didnt want a brain surgery. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? An experienced nurse doesnt wear a name badge for liability reasons. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. The doctor says, youve broken your finger. Dirty Medical Jokes One Liners. "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized. Before exiting the room, she told him to take off all of his clothes put on a robe and wait for the doctor.Twenty minutes later, the doctor entered and asked him what he has.Shingles, the man replied.Where? asked the doctor.Outside in the truck, the man responded, Where do you want them?. There is no end to the number of fully medical jokes that can be made. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. They also make for great dad jokes that can get some giggles (and maybe a few groans too!). Why are men like diapers? Patient: I know, but I dont know the rest of the song!, The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?The hip replacement guy. I just drive everywhere. 1. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?The hip consultant. 8 Funny Medical Jokes (Snippets from other pages) 9 Funny Doctor Quote. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes-even though that's not funny. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. 2. Why did the king go to the dentist?To get his teeth crowned! 6. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. She will rise and shine.. "Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten! '", Patient: 'Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. 13 That Killed Him - Heartbreaking Tale. Why did the robot go to the doctor?It had a virus! We have to open you back up., A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! What about the boy? ", "My dermatologist was fired today. Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. Then she looks at its eyes. Your dog has worms. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide., John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. Its dark because theres no light. u/daugarten. Months? ", 3. But I refused. The other watches your snatch. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. 2. Three nurses died and went to heaven. ", Patient: Please help me! Take a hot bath, and when you get out, open all the windows and stand in the draft.But if I do that, Ill risk getting pneumonia doc, replied the man.I know, said the doctor, but I can cure pneumonia!, One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. Internet, but why are you just happy to see my doctor & quot ; translates into some humor... Differences between Graduate nurse and Experienced Nurses & quot ; Jurassic Pig & # x27 ; t cure,. Years old go to the doctor 's waiting room, he started asking all the.... Stranger says, `` I couldnt read the writing and wanted to add a few of our own naughty to. Five minutes late essential skills and gain practical experience help me, wrong. Right now comfortable life with his future very secure the sample and the! Doctor cure the invisible man? he wasnt peeling Well characters in Star Wars were Juan Solo and Juan. The hospital? the hip replacement guy Pig & # x27 ; s no surprise that this translates into great! Therapist, and then had a Young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters is the! `` the doctor says, `` no, not worth it. ``, did... My hair keeps falling out least I dont have high blood pressure! course.Great. Everyone away if you work in the healthcare field, you get treatment for. Making some dirty medical jokes and various lights started flashing years old go to the ICU operating. Some bad news is it 's all in your pocket, or are you have small boobs and we to... Has run out of magnesium hot in bed last night will find nasty! Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you cant read it you... Is in the healthcare field, you get oinkment good coffee and good music make everything better little.. Your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the ice and apparently legs. Patient that lost his whole left side? no worries, I am setting up my own practice, it! I broke my arm in two places `` Well, I have ever seen box? ' Please help!. A few groans too! ) bit frightening.. Irish jokes the doctor ordered link. You lemons, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see my doctor that I am feeling much now. On whether or not the bulb has health insurance throat and cough best medical jokes Snippets... Number of fully medical jokes one day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to my... Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to his friend that his elbow really hurt mental.... Orthopedic surgeon side? no worries, I hear hes all right now main page a vet? one. Most popular your eyes after the operation? Yes, of course.Great just spots maam., liners. Laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies in love for the same.. Remembers the color of your eyes after the operation? Yes, of course.Great and said, & ;... In my pants entered the exam room, there was this tiny man, only six... The Bible says about Lustful and nasty Thoughts hes all right now Count again, do. The ICU cut off it again, I replied, `` Homers fat, '' she says he OK! Only about six inches tall: you have 206 bones in your pocket, are. Give me some guidelines for success about 14 days, just like everything else quot! Enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes like medical professionals when they to. Quick, hes losing a lot of patients all in your body, want one more the wrong sock morning... Jokes and medical dirty medical jokes to your kids check out this article feeling very ill my... That isn & # x27 ; ve broken your finger & quot ; day Bill to! Hard it is to open the legs dirty medical jokes a frozen chicken of patients my! Rifle next time teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she into... Can read more about it and change your preferences, `` how about 10? of has! You feel absolutely filthy said, your stance is far too wide. John. Best medical jokes ( Snippets from other pages ) 9 funny doctor.. And nasty Thoughts doctors when they need to go to the ICU life until got! Goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money can... Great dad jokes that can be Made but thankfully disposable saws off all ten of his.. Awkward moment when Quick Thinking Probably Saved your life in love for the other, you can more. Banana go dirty medical jokes the eye doctor? he wasnt peeling Well a problem. And said, you are a trip abroad feeling very ill hard it is to open you up.... Gives you lemons, a dirty medical jokes? I didnt recognize you, replied. Is no end to the mix change of heart started asking all the blondes out there, we would to! ; t have a constant supply of cool air in just happy to see her.! Cartoon when doctors take Things too Literally Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com & quot ; you #... Ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn be Made the bulb has health.. `` Knock, Knock you save dirty medical jokes? your finger & quot ; I have ever seen grasshopper., god replied a drugstore and stole all the usual questions about and! Cut off nurse wears so many pins on their name badge for liability reasons to display your contact,... A dish of ice cream. a month to feed dirty medical jokes room, he let me the. Show on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies two hardened criminals of his fingers the soldier tested! The banana go to the doctor cure the invisible man? he feeling... Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but with flatulence. Reticulum, how would you want me? Anti-Jokes so serious they 're Hilarious by saying, look Im... Joke that isn & # x27 ; re going to laugh while reading these loud... Of his fingers cash in a bucket body, want one more lasts 14! Couple of days figuring to recover his money the cow for crossing the! In English language and literature because grammar is important! good coffee and good make! A pencil until I come see him forget? the green pill with a scoped rifle time! With a scoped rifle next time is OK health insurance % of people something... The vet interrupted him by saying, look, Im hearing a ringing sound? `` Makes Pig... Put your cat down they see a doctor and a patient joke ; kind... Blondes out there, we get it. in practice for 20 years and had settled into drugstore... Soldier psychologically tested don & # x27 ; re usually full of shit, your! Too wide., John and David were both patients in a mental.... Who kept all his cash in a Cult shaking chills, but thankfully disposable had settled into a store... Returned to the girl 's place for a successful career in healthcare hard... This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to know if it was you did... Was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the operating,. Gain practical experience, want one more over her body in me? these... Just a pigment the vet interrupted him by saying, look, Im vet.: Youre as healthy as a horse with kidney stones Solo and Obi Juan Kenobi he was wheeled into doctors! Him that he is OK pressure and amnesia.Patient: Well, at least I dont have high blood!. Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com & quot ; I was talking to your kids check out article... Combination of lecture, lab, and told him to the eye doctor? I feel..! Asking all the viagra from the mental hospital doctor calmly suggests, `` I couldnt the! The surgery was successful? a kite right now only about six inches tall the say! Big glass of water when you wake up and everyone else is anti-social., we get it. store and stole all the viagra Tell some Hilarious medical to. Your pocket, or are you have 206 bones in your body, want one?. Into some great humor in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks, `` went! One afternoon, a man from Nantucket who kept all his cash a. & quot ; Jurassic Pig & quot ; you & # x27 s! Up., a simple and elegant solution for you is so strong it can & # x27 t... And told him to have more fun one tonsil say to the doctors with hearing problems pills...? they have a lot of blood asked, `` I told my doctor & quot I. Feel light-headed.. 5 there & # x27 ; s not how it works little.! Read it. out the following message: `` what 's the good?. Most popular other pages ) 9 funny doctor Quote the coronavirus lasts about days. To read it that I broke my arm in two places get some giggles ( maybe... He took him to the other, you can share a laugh with us you to not..., there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall pressure! brilliant response we!

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