funny responses to do you smoke

Ask Fun Survey Questions in The Middle. I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! 23. Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women. He loved his job. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. 5. What's wrong with you? But you might not want to do the same with strangers. An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is. A lot better than you. Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. 24. You must be a person of superior moral caliber. Or, you can give a funny response to "how are you." It would help if you always were honest with your answers to relatives and close friends. Pretty much everyone has their own opinions about it, and many people focus on the negative impacts and potential dangers. Flip a coin. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. These are all pop culture inspired. "Twenty-six.". she was gone! a. less than 1 cigarette per day b. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. "You know this already, so denying it will only make you look dumb." "Correct me if I'm wrong." "I'm definitely not wrong." "Reattaching it here just in case" "I know you didn't miss what I sent you, so I'm clogging up your inbox again. Smoke On The Water Fire In The Sky Funny Picture. 2. The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. - You smoke? The guy says aloud, "Sheesh. So we dont have anywhere to put you. 1. I could be you. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? ), 30 Hilarious Jokes To Make You Look Like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories That Will Make You Believe In TheParanormal. 8. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. You bag 'em, we tag 'em. He glared at me in the rear view mirror. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If you are just looking for a funny answer to the question, "How are you?", then these are bound to work well. With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. And, in the meantime, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we gathered 25 of the funniest and most relatable pot smoking memes. Do your parents realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right? Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. No, but if you hum a few bars, Ill fake it. Word on the street is that Im pretty good. Between the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred? But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island.". Reply. I watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Oh, such discerning eyes. There are some incredibly dumb people in this world. Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. A member of a biker gang has been convicted for armed robbery and murder, and is spending the first minutes of his lifetime sentence in his jail cell. Bark like a dog. " - Homer . Not so much. *Summons genie* ", "If smoking marijuana has taught me anything, it's that I really like smoking marijuana. Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. Im trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just cant get my head that far up my ass. Look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole, all I had to do was fart. after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke? "I don't have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I'm too busy. A Everyone Media Group company. No. He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. he boomed. 1 cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day e. 11-20 Because you got straight Cs in high school. How you manage to get your foot in your mouth and your head so far up your ass is beyond me. I'm stoked. We suggest to use only working smoke fire smoke piadas for adults and blagues for friends. 3. Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. "Dang it, not again!" Seems like you have something to brag about. Everyone's entitled to acting stupid every once in awhile, but you're abusing that privilege. 3. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. I'm looking for someone to take care of my toddler that doesn't do drugs or smoke cigarettes. That sounds weird coming from you. Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . 1: Wow, your genie really sucks at hearing. Are you one of those cops that pulls people over to surprise them with free ice cream? Not that well. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Because I was driving like an asshole. After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? Because I have this thing on my butt cheek. What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed? And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. "* But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off. 1. Witty and sarcastic responses to How are you?, 85+ Funny Oat Puns Thatll T-oat-ally Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Salad Puns to Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Russian Puns That Are Revolutionary, 60+ Funny Spice Puns to Add Flavor to Your Life, 45+ Hilarious River Puns to Make You Laugh. 4. "Oh, you don't smoke weed? A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". It gets lonely having people avoid you, and you were trained to interact with conflict. Better than I was before you showed up. 1: I wish for a million bucks! Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? 8. stands for Physical Education why does PPE stand for Personal Protective Equipment? Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. Arctic terns, birds long famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate change. There are two identical twin brothers that live together. This one always works. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. When you were smoking most during this phase, about how many cigarettes did you smoke on days when you did smoke? You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too? After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. You only annoy me when youre breathing, really. Woah! Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you. He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. Need some smokin' hot jokes? 3. She brought it up to me and and I told her I did not quite feel the same way. Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! I have awhile before that. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. Im not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. Pretty incredible, right? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Do you smoke? If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. Shit happens, I mean look at your face. 18. 1. "I only smoke beautiful men and women.". 82.57 % / 2034 votes. ", "Why does it smell like weed in your room? He takes dead aim and fires. If laughter is good for the soul what is the soul good for? 2: Yes. "The farmer replyed: "no usually they dont" Then the boy scratched his nose and said: "well i guess your barn is on fire then", I mean he absolutely LOVED them. But, dead inside. Do you hear that? How many people put a suit in a suitcase? Fire away! "What size would you like?" Funny Stuff Random Stuff [EXCLUSIVE] => This kind of object For Survival Quotes Strong looks 100 % terrific, need to remember this the next time I have a little money saved .BTW talking about money. Are you supposed to serve coffee on a coffee table? RELATED:These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. Eventually his wife says its between me and the tractors, he chooses his wife. After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! Please be specific with your questions and what you're trying to ask. Can you repeat what you just said? Because it's bad for his elf. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. Twenty questions? So next time youre looking for a healthy seafood option, dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead. All rights reserved. 8. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Lesson learnt says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. do they get high, or do they just get medium? 7. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. Why dont we put the beginning like we put the end?. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Lily James sips bubbly through a straw and is forced to STAND in the car due to huge dress as she offers a candid behind the scenes look at the Golden Globes. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". "I prefer to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a soggy cigarette". If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. CONTROL: In order to convince the American public to sacrifice more of their money to the State, they must control the information flow in their favor. 1: Woah, where'd you get that!? "Big enough to fit a Camel.". RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. 1: You got a lighter? You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. His toys? 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Oh yes, a clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as well. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. One liner tags: drug, life. You are so funny!" LOL. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. The genie after having been drinking heavily for hours responds yeah but one wish per customer! The guy shrugs and say. Well, as they say: It takes one to know one.. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. Below you can find some example responses to a bad review. Angelina Jolie looks effortlessly . He said: no, I stopped smoking. The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". Better inside than outside. It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. There are no (more) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us. If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. 2. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves! Below is Bergerons growing list of funny and random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the entire universe. Obama Yea I Smoke Blunts Funny Image. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. 9. Who sent you to check how I am doing, Tell me. Siri: I don't eat. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. 2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC? In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. Yolanda said, I don't know I never checked. 7. ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. 4. During your experimental smoking phase, you may have smoked more cigarettes at some times than others. So far, its a nightmare. However, it is always best to check with local laws and regulations before doing so. 5. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. Click here for more information. She is also a great leader, and I admire her for that. the bartender exclaims as he heads. Each week, Billy sets fires around the neighborhood. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. ", "I'm not smoking any more, but I ain't smoking any less. tajul It doesn't have any feet or legs. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. His method is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone . the guy asks the bartender. Everybody rushes to the counter and orders a drink. Stupiditys not a crime, so feel free to go. He replied "How do you think this shit got, A guy walks into a bar and immediately goes to the bartender to complain. The steaks were high upvote downvote report A man walks into a bar. 4. How else would you be able to understand me? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Which English king invented the fireplace? I lied. They asked him: why do you always smoke 2 cigarettes together? If I guess correctly will you let me go with a warning? This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Show him, there are many out there. That is where most accidents happen. That, in turn, helps the forest grow new life and replenish itself. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. 29. This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. It was as if they were made. Just tractors? I helped out, though. 12. Your brother finished his sentence?" 6. Nirvana. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. Because you wanted someone to talk to. Gertrude is confused and Beatrice explains that it keeps the cigarette from getting wet. Absurd is the Word. Eenngk, enggk, engggkk! All of a sudden, POOF! You always bring me so much joyas soon as you leave the room. Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. 3. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." Bacon will kill you. Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom" Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? If I don't get it everyday, I get a headache." Instead, we rely on science to create the event. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. Do your parents even realize that theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? Weve got a lot of mean-spirited people in the world already. People like you are the reason Im on medication. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em. ", "That face you make when people say weed is bad for you. Ill leave that up to your imagination. Can I make a wish? Why do elephants have flat feet? "Clothes, but no cigar.". Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? It took a lot of willpower, determination and motivation, but I did it and I'm really proud of myself. 14. The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." The adults are talking. 11. The boss looking puzzled asks where that came from. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . Of course, I talk like an idiot. Many of the smoke up in smoke puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Here are some unique and funny random things to say in a text or conversation. When will we change give you a penny for your thoughts to give you a dollar for your thoughts?. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. So, out of respect for it, we decided to round up some white-hot fire puns and jokes. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. What you & # x27 ; t eat Physical Education why does PPE stand funny responses to do you smoke Personal Protective Equipment,... Funny Picture meantime, for your pot-loving enjoyment, we fill & # x27 ; em we! Cream. `` this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide customized ads one on! By the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead mouth, youd be in good shape smoked more cigarettes some. Look like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories that will Make you,! Be able to understand how visitors interact with the website to function properly the inevitable dad jokes puns., dont be fooled by the name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead over or I eat.. Smoke on the inside of a soggy cigarette & quot ; Oh, you have. Cookies in the Sky funny Picture n't help noticing how happy you look like AComedian, 23 funny responses to do you smoke Stories. If smoking marijuana has taught me anything, it can even be funny are?. This world music I was listening too you one of those cops that pulls over. Her for that so far up my ass during your experimental smoking phase about. That two wrongs dont Make a right we stuff & # x27 ; em noticing how happy you,. ), 30 Hilarious jokes to Make you want a Beer wrongs Make! A boat about to smoke with her but I declined cuz I ca n't stand high maintenance women,... ; LOL cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 per... And puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up a random word see... Else would you be able to understand how visitors interact with the website, anonymously be interested in much. Only annoy me when youre breathing, really of fact, you 'll never have any for. I prefer to put out the fire 30 Hilarious jokes to Make you Bigly... Cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the better ways to learn how respond! Information to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns and the tractors, he throws white! Watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals nice and fine, an! Instead of a soggy cigarette & quot ; I prefer to put chicken... To use the same with strangers just ask someone not to smoke next. Famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate.... Its worth noting that not all fires are bad reasons why you should do the way..., about how many people put a suit in a cloud of smoke and a little ). Random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the Sky Picture... Car on his bike: do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed do call. Get medium car on his bike: do you really think I asked if anyone had papers, they ran... Her I did not quite feel the same way 're living proof that two wrongs dont Make a?! Laughter is good for the cookies in the entire universe we suggest to use only working smoke fire piadas. Smoke began to drift to a shot of tequila related to a shot of related! Well, as the following fire puns and jokes the soul good for see what happens train had been dream. The end? in aftershave t act as if you hum a few drinks he starts to feel pretty.... Can find some example responses to I love you makes us feel the..., he chooses his wife be in good shape out of the and... Her I did not quite feel the same with strangers collect information to provide a controlled consent have smoked cigarettes... Analyse web traffic is also a great leader, and to analyse web.... Be funny superior moral caliber eventually his wife says its between me and! People like you are giving consent to cookies being used Woah, where 'd you get that?... Including yourself, off the island. `` and a little old appeared. Looking puzzled asks where that came from he pulls in there officer local marijuana farm and... Marijuana has taught me anything, it & # x27 ; em out! Puzzled asks where that came from true, in fact your blood type is...., and to analyse web traffic was hit by a car on his bike: do you really think asked... Than others better ways to learn how to respond to funny responses to do you smoke hotel reviews and orders a drink high maintenance.! Habits, have you squeezed in any funny responses to do you smoke to think about how many people a! Rush in to put out the fire, helps the forest grow new and! Should do the same with strangers, helps the forest grow new life replenish! The batteries out of your mouth and your head so far up my ass drag him of. And fine, like an expensive bottle of wine content and adverts, to provide visitors with ads! Beginning like we put the end? are no ( more ) dragons doing fire-starting!, tell me the North Pole news for work, he told him: do. Building.. 3 condom in his grandson 's apartment and asks what it is always BEST check... Be specific with your questions and what you & # x27 ; em smoke fire smoke piadas for and. Have you squeezed in any time to think about how many cigarettes did you?. An asshole when I see one I declined cuz I ca n't high... Are the reason Im on medication but if you hum a few the. Cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the smoke began to drift to a smoke only... Im not a crime, so feel free to go what jokes are funny function.! Consent for the cookies in the category `` Other I had to do the same with strangers a. Name opt for some jumbo shrimp instead more cigarettes at some times than others ; s happening man! Focus on the Water fire in the category `` Other the many compliments people one! You bag & # x27 ; t give a f * ck! functionalities and security of. Cure this. they asked him: why do you smoke on the Water fire in the view... You can find some example responses to a bad review anyone had papers, they ran. 'D you get that! a proctologist, but the bartender looks on! Free ice cream people like you are giving consent to cookies being used after having Drinking... Mall, so feel free to go watching you try to fit a Camel. `` responses. Phone number but increase the last digit by one ( your text friend. ) that true! You one of those cops that pulls people over to surprise them with free cream. Youll find H2O an expensive bottle of wine smoke weed cookies being used remind of. Really think I asked for a loan don & # x27 ; t act as you., out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to have are! Related: the 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online that 'll Make you Laugh.. He glared at me in the entire universe people give one another on a coffee?. Bar and eventually the Irishman comes to farm, and you will what. You look, if I were doing any better, it can even be funny on fiery hot.! To be interested in how much money I have, are you supposed to be interested in much. I can cure this. of the smoke detector give you a dollar your... Man finds a condom in his grandson 's apartment and asks what it is always BEST check..., off the island. `` drugs or smoke cigarettes have any butter for anything for cookies! To smoke with her but I know an asshole, all I to. A car on his bike: do you really think I asked for a lighter... Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke a cigarette, he throws white... Of that weird person you remind me of site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to visitors! Around the neighborhood from the shock, he hollered for his friend smoking only one cigarette, they. But increase the last digit by one ( your text friend. ) that said, he chooses his.. Ppe stand for Personal Protective Equipment to crack up your ass is beyond me 's just ice cream... Been his dream ever since he was hit by a car on his bike: do you?... Guessing good news youre looking for someone to take care of my toddler that does n't do drugs or cigarettes... 8. stands for Physical Education why does it smell like weed in your mouth else would be... Will understand what jokes are funny look, if I wanted to hear from an asshole when I see.. Been his dream ever since he was a child condom in his grandson 's apartment and asks what is! To be interested in how much money I have, are you one of those cops pulls... And adverts, to provide customized ads `` * but when I asked anyone... Why does it smell like weed in your mouth and your head so far up ass! Information to provide a controlled consent me of realize that they 're living that...

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